Archive for the ‘NFL’ Category

Super Pick

Saturday, February 6th, 2010

You have watched football every weekend for three solid months. You rooted for your team.  You shed tears when they lost and you had an extra hop in your step when they won. You threw your remote after yet another ill-advised play and you jumped up from your couch when that same play turned from an “Oh-no” play into an “Oh-yes” play. You stayed up late for overtime thrillers and dragged your semi-dead corpse to work the next morning. You devoured every team-related article you could find to embrace a feeling of aquaintance regarding that particular team. You felt like you were part of the team (using the obligatory “We” term). You defended it in front of your friends and you were almost personally offended when someone dragged them through the mud. You went through all the ups and downs, always hoping that in the end all the heartfelt pain, all the stomachturning moments and all the bitter dissapointment would pay off.

And for two fan bases it did.

For everybody from the outside looking in (media, casual fans, fans of the other 30 teams) it will “just” be another Super Bowl. One more larger than life sporting event in a long list of historic games.

But for the Saints and Colts fans it will be much more. (Hear me out, before you hiss “Well, obviously!” at your computer sarcastically.) This game will alter the lives of thousands of fans. Maybe that 62-year-old life-long Saints fan who used to go to games wearing a paper bag will finally see his team succeed on the biggest possible stage. Maybe that 9-year-old Colts fan will witness his team’s second championship in four years and watch his favorite player cement himself as the greatest player of all time. (“Where are the damn painkillers!!! WHERE ARE THEY!!!)

The point is that this game will mean so much to the respective fan bases that only somebody who was fortunate enough to capture all the emotions that come with watching your team win a championship can understand.

In 2008 I became one of those blessed ones. I watched my beloved Celtics end their drought and finally win a ring again. (I know the Pats and Sox won too, but I only became a Pats fan during that Eagles-Pats Super Bowl in ‘04 when I was first exposed to football and immediately fell in love with the Patriots and I didn’t start to  really follow the Red Sox until after ‘07. So I don’t count those championships. And don’t you dare call me bandwagony. DON’T YOU DARE!!!) I remember staying up countless nights (and by nights I mean the wee hours; games would start at 2 a.m. and end at 5 a.m.), most of them school nights, and cheering on my favorite basketball team. I would wear my green St. Patrick’s day edition Red Sox shirt for away games and my blue one (Hey, what can I say,  I love St. Patrick’s day.) for home games all throughout the playoffs. Heck, I even exclusively used a green cereal bowl for my obligatory halftime snack, because it brought them luck. (Don’t worry, of course, I washed it everytime. As far as you know, anyway.) I remember falling asleep during the the beginning of the third quarter of the famous comeback in Game 4 of the Finals only to wake up in the fourth again and stare at the score in disbelief. My Celtics had stormed back from a 20-point deficit with 6:04 left in the third quarter to pull within 2 points at the beginning of the fourth. They eventually won the game and put a disheartened and downbeat L.A. team away for good in Game 6.

These are the moments you remember your whole life. These are the memories no one can take from you. These are the stories you hope to tell your grand-children one day. These are the experiences we live for as sports fans.

Come Sunday night one of the aformentioned fan bases will enter this exclusive club while the other will be wondering what hit them. In the end the Super Bowl is exactly what its name says it is: It’s a game of superlatives. One team/fan base will feel ineffable joy and the other will fell indescribable pain. That’s what makes this game so great. That’s what makes it so super.

Now before those of you who are susceptible to tears fill the joint with salt water, let’s quickly move on to the actual game and break this bad boy down:

New Orleans Saints

The Saints have two things going for them and only two: They are damn close to “Nobody-believes-in-us” status (to borrow a term from my mentor, the great Bill Simmons) and every non-Colts fan out there will be rooting for them on Sunday. And really how can you not? With all that city has gone through and all the suffering these fans have endured, there is nobody with a heart in his chest who won’t root for them. Throw in the fact that the Colts just won one a few years ago (Which will always steer the casual fan away, because when it comes to sports the casual fan is like a good Samaritan. He/She likes to spread the love and see those teams succeed that haven’t done so in the past. First ever bible reference. Somewhere Kurt Warner just cracked a smile.) and you have a karma cocktail that might jus be strong enough to have the Colts hugging the toilet.

But other than those intangibles (a.k.a. the official Tim Tebow stat; By the way if my Pats take Tebow in this year’s draft I will be more bummed out than the time I found out that Santa Claus isn’t real. Whoops, did I just lose my entire 6-10 demographic!?) there is not much of substance left. The Saints really are only in the Big Dance by virtue of yet another Brett Favre late game, season-ending interception. (Sorry, Minny fans, but I warned you all season long. I told you to keep your guard up and to not trust this guy. I would be pounding my chest much harder right now if I didn’t feel such empathy for the state of Minnesota. Snow shoveling and Brett Favre!? That’s not even fair anymore.) They are basically the Bizzarro 06-07 Bears. (who played the Colts in Miami; Coincidence!? I don’t think so.) Insetad being great on defense, the Sainst are a prolific offense and the other unit, in this case the Saints defense (in the Bears’ case, basically Rex Grossman) is holding the whole team back. The Saints were outgained by their opponents by a combined 159 yards this postseason. I am gonna go out on a limb and say that that’s not a good sign. Minnesota was the better team and should’ve won. Now you can’t fault the Saints for being opportunistic, but you can’t count on Manning to make an across-the-body-throw and float one in the middle of the field either.

The Sainst have God and the world on their side, but the question is if that’ll compensate for their lack of skill on the field.

(Obviously that’s a bit of an hyperbole. The Saints still are a unbelievably good team with a HOF quarterback spreading the rock around and a terrific coach calling the plays on offense.)

Indianapolis Colts

Well, what can you say about a team that essentially hasn’t lost a real game all season except that “they are who we thought they were”. Namely the best team in football. Now sure we can’t crown their ass yet, but the Saints cannot let them off the hook either. (Always a great watch. Not much more to say than: “Thanks coach!”)

They have a HOF quarterback playing at the highest level we have ever seen anybody play the position. They have an undersized, but fast defense (If I have to hear one more TV analyst/expert say that, I think I’ll have to blow chunks.), which might just be weakened enough by a banged-up Freeney to keep this game a close contest. Their rushing attack is basically non-existent, but why drive a rusty, old station wagon when you can fly business class. Now granted their special teams isn’t really that special (no kick/punt returns for TDs this postseason combined with a measly 6.6 yards per punt return and a pedestrian 24.7 yards per kick return), but who needs dat (Let’s hope Roger doesn’t read this otherwise he’ll have my ass sued quicker than I can say “greedy old man”.) when you have a quarterback who can make Austin Collie look like a superstar.

And really it all comes back to this: The Colts are Peyton Manning. He goes down they go down. But here is the thing: He won’t go down. Manning has developed a savy habit of keeping himself healthy. He has mastered the game to a degree that is ridiculous. Peyton is just so much better than everybody else (And by now you should know how much it pains me to say so.)

That is why I will bet on the Colts (the Colts winning it, combined with Manning as Super Bowl MVP, combined with the Colts winning by 1-6 points and the game ending in regulation; It’s the Super Bowl, hop on the gambling train and don’t look back!) and that is also why I will pick the Colts with my last pick for this NFL season. (What a travesty! My last pick should be one of joy and happiness, instead I’ll be grumpy all day, because I picked my most despised foe to win yet another Super Bowl. I will now slam my head against the desk one more time, for old times sake.)

Gut pick: Colts

++BONUS CONTENT++

How to save the Pro Bowl

I didn’t watch the flag football game also known as the Pro Bowl, but I am gonna go out on a limb and say I didn’t miss anything. After all the NFL’s version of the All-Star game has very little to do with real football: no blitzing, no hits, no running, no excitment.

It’s a joke, but maybe there is a way to get this right after all. To do so we have to disect the problem first.

Here is the thing: First of all football is not the right sport for an All-Star game. Take basketball for instance, the guys are having fun, they’re putting on a show, you’ll see hellacious dunks, flashy dribbles, and so on and so forth. Now granted there isn’t much defense, but it still is fun. Same goes for baseball. Football on the other hand is a sport you just can’t play half-heartedly or to borrow an A-Rodian term — loosie-goosie. The game of football is one of intensity and tenacity. Don’t get my wrong baseball and basketball are too, but you can still have watchable games if you loosen up.

So really the NFL has two options regarding the Pro Bowl: a) either cancel it, which they won’t do, because they like to rake in the green by the truckload, or b) have them play for something that’s worth playing for, a prize if you will.

Now since a) ain’t happening let’s look at b):

Why not borrow from baseball and have the two conferences battle it out for home-field advantage in the Super Bowl.

How you ask?

Glad you did.

So last year the NFC won. This would mean that the Saints would receive two thirds of the Super Bowl tickets. They could sell those tickets to their fans and have a significant home-field advantage in the process. The other third goes to Indy.

And BAMMM!!! You have a Pro Bowl that all of a sudden will be exciting as hell, because the best players of the National Football league have a reason to play hard. You’ll have a Super Bowl with a great crowd, because all the casual fans, celebs, CEOs and rich people will be replaced with real fans who actual give a crap and don’t just go there to be seen or turn the whole thing into one big business dinner with a little football on the side.

This is the part of the post where you’ll say: “”Wait a minute, but if the NFL is all about making some dough why would they cut the ticket prices for the Super Bowl!?”

And that is were the real genius of the idea comes into play. The NFL will be able to make all that money back through the Pro Bowl, because now that once meaningless game is basically the hottest must-see sporting event in all the land. Everybody will want to go and see the best of the best battle it out in a real game with tremendously high stakes. Every player will play his guts out, because a) they mostly come from already great teams which is why they have a reasonable chance to play in next year’s Super Bowl and b) you never know who might get there in the end with the Saints being this year’s prime example. So really there is no downside.

Everybody wins and I finally have a reason to watch the Pro Bowl.

Round 3 Recovery

Sunday, January 24th, 2010

Ohhhhh, brother. What agony! What disgrace! What embarassment!

Listen, I have a fairly high tolerance limit. I like to think of myself as somebody with a high pain threshold. But that last NFL weekend was just too much for me.

Not only did I go 1-3 in my picks, which is enough of a disrepute to never ever pick games again.

Not only did my Superbowl pick go up in flames like Tiger Woods’ marriage (although I kinda predicted that anyway. The Superbowl pick that is. Not the Tiger debacle, not even Nostradamus saw that one coming).

Not only did I flounder money by putting some green on the Cards – I blindly ignored their atrocious defense. I mean they got scored on more than J-WOWW from the Jersey Shore, biiiitch!!! (Whoops sorry that was my Jersey shore reflex from hearing the intro too many times, cue up Snooki’s piercing voice: I am going to the Jersey Shore, biiitch!!!) and the Cowboys (At next years spelling bee: The word is obliterated. - Can I have that in a sentence? - The Dallas O-line was obliterated by the Vikings front four. – Obliterated. O-B-L-I-T-E-R-A-T-E-D. Obliterated.)

But I also (I know that was neither a grammatically correct English passage nor sentence. So what!? This is still my blog. Sue me. – Sadly enough, chances are that will probably happen some day. Sigh.) was exposed to THREE awful NFL playoff games. I mean, the first three games were so bad I had to throw salt into my eyes at times to mitigate (Learned that word while studying for the SAT. Fancy schmancy, huh!?) the pain. It was blowout after blowout and some thrashing in between. I hope Roger Goddell called up the Jets and Chargers and thanked them for the fact that at least they delivered.

That sure is a lot of stuff to recover from. Fortunately, I was occupied by studying all week. (I know a godsend, right!?)

But you know what’s the best way to recover from some dreadful games, bad picks and lost money?

Alcohol? – It helps, but not the ultimate solution.

Drugs? – See, alcohol.

Hookers? – I am kiddding. I’m kidding. Relax! Settle down.

All of the above? – Again, juuuust joking. As far as you know, anyway.

Nope. More football. Fight fire with fire, mate.

(One more thing: If you’re still traumatized by that ghastly slate of games last weekend or you have made stupider picks and bets than I have – hard to imagine, but whatever – then maybe you’ll find solace in this fact: Come February 7, 2010 we will definitely either see Minnesota or New Orleans and there even is a distinct possibility that we’ll see the Jets. Three of the most fanatic and at the same time most tortured fan bases in all the land. You’re telling me that won’t be mind-boggling?!)

Now let’s look at the games:

New York Jets at Indianapolis Colts

They couldn’t script this in Hollywood.

The ultimate underdog, the NFL version of “the U” with all their bragging and swagger going up against the undeniable favorit, a team that hasn’t lost a “real” game all season. In the obvious irony of ironies the Colts let the door open for the Jets to sneak into the playoffs when they pulled their starters in week 16 and now the J-E-T-S JetsJetsJets are kicking them down one by one.

All week long I was thinking about this game and who I should root for. On the one hand the Jets are a divison rival, which means I am obligated to hate them, but on the other side I just HATE the Colts sooooo much. (What I already mentioned this? Must have slipped my mind.) So I ended up settling on the Jets, after all they are a fun story and it would be the greatest thing ever if the Colts lost a) even though they rested their starters (You know my stance on that crap.) and b) because THEY enabled the Jets to make the palyoffs in the first place.

Now since I am pulling for the Jets it’s time for a pros and cons list why the Jets should/could win:

PROS

- They have nothing to lose. At best they culminate an improbable run with a Superbowl appearance and at worst they were the defining feel-good/entertaing story of this season. Plus they will only be better next year. The Colts on the other hand have all the pressure of the world on them. They play at home. They gave up the chance for a perfect season for their ultimate goal, a championship. Their fans will rip them to shreds and possibly even burn down the stadium if they somehow lose this one. John Clayton from ESPN put it best: “The Colts created a monster in week 16.”

- The Jets are the epitome of an old-school playoff team. Run the ball. Play defense. That’s it. They are what they are and if you ask me (You probably didn’t, but I’ll tell you anyway.) they match up nicely agains the Colts. On paper, anyway. The Jets have no incentive to throw the ball with a rookie QB against a fast, speedy defense. There is no question that the Colts D is better than it has been in recent years, but they still are not physical. The Jets however are tough as nails. They will really hit you in the mouth. New York’s O-line is one of the best if not the best in the biz. The five big fellas up front played 33 consecutive games together. They’ll be able to open up big gaps for Shonn Greene. In additon to that Reggie Wayne will be non-existent matched up against Revis (I am still outraged that he didn’t win DPOTY. I mean Charles Woodson!? In the words of the MNF guys: “C’mon, maahn.) and Manning will have a guy or two in his face every single down.

Now on to the CONS (Not you Charlie Sheen!!!)

- The Colts play at home. Look, I am not a big believer in the whole home-field advantage thing. I just think we tend to overrate it a bit, but if there ever is an argument for it it’s with dome-teams. The level of crowd noise in a dome is a distinct edge for the home team. The Jets won’t be able to make last second adjustments at the line. There will be a couple of false starts and above all, Sanchez will be rattled enough at some point to make a costly mistake. (Mark it down right now. Either to point it out to me and make fun of me when it doesn’t happen, which is the more likely route, or to acknowledge me when it does occur. After going 1-3 in my picks, the probability of the latter happening is near zero.)

- The Colts have Manning. Here is the thing: In all likelihood when all is said and done Manning will go down as the best quarterback to ever play the game. (Rest assured that I had to pop in a couple of pain killers before I was able to write that last sentence.) I watched him against Baltimore. Everytime the Colts were in the red zone, the Ravens dropped everybody short of the waterboy into coverage. Didn’t matter. Manning sliced the ball in there every single time into spots that were as tight as the collective swingter of every Ravens fan. He is just too good. He is arguably the best QB against the blitz, makes audibles and adjustments like no one else and detests loosing about as mach as any athlete ever. The announcers pointed out that Manning hates to be stopped. Heck, he even dislikes being held to a field goal after a 80-yard drive. He has this MJ-like competitevness that distinguishes a great player from a top 5 all-time player. In the words of the immortal Ronnie form Jersey Shore: “It is what it is.” (Three references already so if you haven’t watched the show yet a) shame on you and b) go watch all episodes on mtv.com. Do it!)

(Note from the editor: After The Average Fan wrote this last passage he briefly passed out and had to be brought to the hospital. He is now stable, but keeps screaming “WHY OH WHY” and cursing at the Manning family.)

Uh-oh seems like we have a pros and cons tie.

Tiebreaker: Who is the better all-around team?

Sorry, Jets fans it’s the Colts. They are still virtually unbeaten this season. They have a futer HOF quarterback (Note from the editor: He just passed out again.) They play at home. They are just plain better.

Gut pick: Colts

(Again sorry Jets fans, but I don’t see it happening. Wait a minute … actually … rejoice Jets fans!!! I picked against your team which means there is a 3-1 chance that they’ll win. You can send me fruit baskets afterwards.)

Minnesota Vikings at New Orleans Saints

Favre vs Brees – Old school vs New school

Adrian Peterson vs Reggie Bush – Promising college runningback who proved worthy of a first-round selection vs Highly touted college runningback who failed to meet expectations (excluding that last game)

Prince vs Kim Kardashian – Tiny rock/pop star vs pseudo celbrity with huge rack and some junk in the trunk

The two best NFC teams of the first half of the regular season finally face each other.

So let’s break this down bulletin-board style:

  • If there is one glarring weakness the Sainst have that just screams “VIKINGS WILL WIN” it is the fact that you can run on them. AP hasn’t been as good as in previous seasons, but a lot of that can be accredited to the O-line. I thought (and even said so) that the Dallas front four would shred the Vikings O-line. Well, I was wrong. Wrongwrongwrongwrong. Just dead wrong. They played better than I would have ever expected. The Saints front four isn’t nealry as stout as the Dallas one, which means two things: Favre will have all day to throw it and AP will have room to run and once he gets to that second level he will wreak havoc.
  • Sticking with the line theme: The Saints O-line is obviously one of the best in the whole league. There is no doubt about that. And still I feel like the Vikes can get pressure on Brees. The purple unit sacked Romo on virtually every possession last week and made him look awful in the process. Now granted the boys lost Flozell Adams (funny tidbit on Adams: His nickname is “The Hotel”. Which raises a bunch of questions: How did he get that nickname? Who came up with it? And most importantly: How and where can I get a nickname like that?), a key part of that line, early on, but still Jared Allen and the gang sliced through there anytime they felt like it. Watch out for a similar dominat performance this Sunday.
  • While the Vikings have those things going for them, the Saints can still count on this: the crowd. The Superdome will be rocking on Sunday, trust me. Just scroll up to see what I wrote about home dome teams. The same applies here. Probably even more so since the Saints fans have gone through so much. It’ll be an atmosphere unlike anything we have seen all season long and sometimes an electric crowd can be the difference in a game like this. Just sayin’.

So let’s sum this up:

  • Quarterback – Tie
  • Receivers – Tie -> Rice and Harvin are better that Colston and Henderson, but New Orleans has more depth at wide receiver.
  • Runningbacks – Edge: Vikings -> AP and Taylor are better than Thomas, Bush and Bell. (Sounds like a  southern law firm doesn’t it? Listen up, ya’ll! At Thomas, Bush and Bell we keep our promises. We will win you that law suit or you will get your money back. Dial 1-800-CASHBACK for more information.) They just are. (How’s that for an argument, huh!? Evidence or examples, anyone? Naaah. Who needs that if you can make statements like the above one!?) Plus don’t expect Bush to have a performance à la last week, because the Vikings defense is not the Cardinals defense. Sorry, Kim, not happening.
  • Defense – Edge: Vikings
  • Special teams – Tie
  • Crowd factor – New Orleans

It was close, but the final score is 2-1 for the Vikes. (Somewhere Prince just jumped out of his chair in the H.H.H. Metrodome all fired up, after he fell asleep in the third quarter at last weekend’s game and was locked in all week long.)

My head tells me Minny, but I am sick and tired of picking against the Saints and being burned in the process. That is why:

Gut pick: Saints

Whatever way things shake out on Sunday, let’s pray that we’ll see some great football and close games (and of course that my picks are right for once). Memorable moments have been scarce in these playoffs, but maybe, just maybe, that will change this weekend. The table has been set and now all we can do is kick back and enjoy.

Round 2 Roundabout Part 2

Sunday, January 17th, 2010

So much for the most exciting weekend in football.

The Warnerless Cards get blown out of the dome by the Saints (who looked so rejuvenated that it might be time to ask Jose Canseco if he slipped  Sean Payton the number of his steriod guy) and the Ravens crippled themselves with mental errors (fumbles, dropped balls, etc.) and dumb penalties (any time a yellow flag came flying in I was 98% sure that it was on the Ravens) en route to an inevitable playoff demolition.

That Ravens-Colts game was really hard to watch at times. Even if they did something right, they nullified it by commiting some inane error. The reaction of my buddy Flo, a die-hard Ravens fan, after the Ed Reed interception-fumble-sequence, probabyl sums it up best:

“God hates me.”

In all fairness though, not only God hates you, Ravens fans, but also the refs. That helmet to helmet call was some major BS. Collie didn’t drop the ball. (By the way the announcers of course were quick to reside on the referee’s side and even tried to convince us that it was a good call. Dear CBS annoncers grow some ball, will ya!? Roger Goodell is not David Stern for Christ’s sake.) He had it knocked loose by Lewis. What’s a defender supposed to do? Stand there and watch the receiver catch a TD pass!?

(Shaking my head in disgust)

In addition to those aforementioned mental errors and silly penalties, the Ravens’ man with the headset, John Harbaugh, also had some major brainfarts. He keept rushing with only three guys in the red zone, giving Manning enough time to sling it into even the tightest coverage. Also Harbaugh got rid of TOs so quickly I couldn’t even keep up anymore. When they took the second timeout in the third quarter, thus eliminating any possibilty for a fourth quarter comeback, I texted my buddy Flo and asked him:” Do the Ravens have more timeouts than I am aware of or why are they tossing one after the other out of the window like it’s a fire sale!?”

Anyway, the point is that this Round 2 hasn’t provided nearly the excitment I and everybody else was hoping for. But maybe, just maybe the Sunday games can make up for it.

Dallas Cowboys at Minnesota Vikings

This is your driver speaking, hop on the Dallas bandwagon as long as there is still room.

I love the Cowboys so much in this matchup (and as matter of fact to win the whole thing) that it’s scary. Every time I have this strong of a feeling about a particular team or game it usal goes the other way (see Saints, New Orleans).

But not this time. I know this team is good. I watched tem obliterate a pretty good Eagles team.

They have no conceivable weakness. They can run the ball with Barber (the downhill runner), Jones (the change of pace guy) and Choice (the third down back). Romo and Austin are one of the better quarterback-receiver combos in football. Their defense is fast as hell. Their defensive backfield might be one of the best in the biz even though they can’t catch the ball to safe their life. Their linebacker corp is intimitading to say the least and their D-line isn’t a stash of fluff either.

Now they do have kicker issues, but hey who needs kickers if you can blow opponents out of the water. (Of course now that I said that I wouldn’t be surprised at all if they’ll lose on a shanked field goal.)

As far as Minny is concerned…they are pretty much the exact opposite. Adrian Peterson has severe fumbling issues, all day long. (See what I did there!? Clever, huh!? After all I am not one of the best, non-paid, casual sportsblogger for nothing.) Their defense is not the vaunted unit it used to be. Their second best receiver  is frequently hindered by migraines. And their quarterback…well you know my stance on him.

This will be the game Favre shows his real face to every Vikes fan out there. (Be read for a gut wrenching loss here, Minny. I care about you guys, that’s why I am warning you.) My prophecy will come true. Just watch and wait.

(One more thing: The over/under for death stares Favre will give Childress when the latter blows a challenge or screws up otherwise is set at 4.5. I am taking the over.)

Gut pick: Cowboys

New York Jets at San Diego Chargers

I have been thinking about this matchup all week long. It’s so tough to figure out.

On the one hand the Jets couldn’t have wished for a better Round 2 opponent (Fortuna might just be a Jets fan.) The Jets can run the ball. The Chargers can’t stop the run. The Jets don’t throw much. The Chargers have a sound pass defense. The Jets defend the pass well. The Chargers chuck it about as much as anybody. The Jets can be run on. The Chargers can’t run effectively. You probably couldn’t create a better opponent for this Jets team on Madden.

On the other hand what are the odds a rookie quarterback performs the way Sanchez did last week in consecutive road playoff games?

150:1?

300:1?

500:1?

Higher?

I mean seriously, unless this guy is the second coming of Johnny Unitas I can’t see him playing a good game, no less a mistake free one like he did against Cincy.

He’ll be the X-factor in this game. If Mark Sanchez can defy the odds and not cost his team the game, the Jets might pull an upset.

Here is saying he won’t.

Gut pick: Chargers

Superbowl pick that will probably blow up in my face today: Cowboys over Chargers

Gut pick record: 3-3