2:15 a.m.:Aaaaaalright ladies and gentleman!!! Are you ready for soome foooootball!?!? ‘Cause I know I am. I got my Pats gear on, enough caffeine running through my venes to actually kill a small mammal and I’m hooked up to a catheter so I don’t have to miss one second of this game. (Only one of these things isn’t true.)
2:21 a.m.: Thank God I got a web stream going right away. Otherwise I would be punching holes trough walls right now.
2:24 a.m.: After all “I’ve been waiting all day for Sunday night”.
2:28 a.m.: My stream isn’t exactly HD, but hey it’s free and it’s working. So there.
2:29 a.m.: I wonder how long this Geico caveman thing will go on for. He’s had quite a run. My personal favorite: The one where he’s at the airport.
2:30 a.m.: Thanks for that redundant info, Andrea.
2:34 a.m.: Three and out, baby. (clapping my hands together violently Joakim Noah -style)
2:37 a.m.: Godammit Watson! If you can touch it you can catch.
2:42 a.m.: Reason Nr. 125 Why I hate Manning: His stupid semi-smirk whenever he completes a pass.
2:45 a.m.: Did Al Michaels just call Wayne a tripod??? That’s a little too much information for my liking.
2:48 a.m.: Perfect timing for a screen. Good play calling there, Peyton.
2:53 a.m.: Just checked my fantasy team’s score. I need Gostkowski and Mason to score at least 31 points. Plus Wayne can’t make any more points. So yeah I’m getting crushed.
2:56 a.m.: Yeeeeeees, Moss has struck again.
3:01 a.m.: Just wondered why touchbacks don’t count as fantasy points for the kicker. Probably makes too much sense.
3:07 a.m.: I always knew Kevin Faulk had some Marshall in him.
3:14 a.m.: Brady will abuse those rookie corners all night long.
3:16 a.m.: This goalline stand feels like one of those plays that could come back to bite the Pats in the ass. A missed opportunity. Here’s hoping I’m wrong.
3:19 a.m.: There is another touchback which should net me at least 2 points. But nooooo. Yes, I am bitter.
3:21 a.m.: Reason Nr. 324 Why I hate Manning: His whole audible routine at the line. This just annoys the crap out of me. Especially when playing Madden against a CPU Colts team. Here’s the situation: You’re down by let’s say a touchdown and Manning has the ball. You have no timeouts left and so Manning is audibling (is that a word?) like a mad man at the line just to take time off the clock. See, my Manning hate isn’t unreasonable.
3:26 a.m.: Moss just made Bethea look like a Pop Warner safety.
3:32 a.m.: Manning just threw himself to the ground like he was taking cover in a gunfight just to avoid getting hit by Mayo. Granted I would’ve done the same. Then again I don’t get paid to take those kind of hits. Grow some cojones, Peyton!
3:36 a.m.: Bethea just fell down like a drunken guy spotting a dollar bill on the sidewalk. He is starting to become my favorite Colt.
3:38 a.m.: You want to know why I always would take Brady over Manning: Brady just shook off a potential tackler with a shrug of his shoulder whereas Manning would’ve probably gone down like he was being shoot with a tranquilizer gun. Oh yeah and Brady threw for a touchdown afterwards.
3:48 a.m.: In the shock of all shocks Manning just hooked up with Wayne for a touchdown. The lesson as always: The karma police is always on duty.
3:49 a.m.: Most overused song at sporting events of any kind: Hells Bells by ACDC. No contest.
3:52 a.m.: Quick three and out by New England. This game is not heading in the right direction for the Pats. They need a stop here. Don’t let Indy get any momentum going before the half. Or after. Or ever, really.
3:55 a.m.: Big false start by Garcon. Makes a 3 and 10 out of a 3 and 5. Next play: Dropped pass by Clark leading to a punt. Tough break for Indy.
3:58 a.m.: Not to talk too much Madden, but the next time you play Madden 10 try some of the draw plays. They finally work. In every other Madden version they are a guaranteed 2-3 yard losses, but they actually do some damage now. Especially against guys who just play Nickel and Dime packages. You’re welcome.
4:02 a.m.: I’m 75 % sure that Edelmann just broke the Colts DB’s ankles with that juke.
4:06 a.m.: The only time I enjoy seeing Manning’s face: When he’s got that frustrated “What the f*** guys, catch some freakin’ balls, already!!!” look.
4:10 a.m.: Halftime. Time for a 4 a.m. snack. Did I already mention that I have to get back up in three hours. Oh well.
4:16 a.m.: They just showed the highlights from the other games. How many fantasy seasons do you think did that MJD kneel down at the 1-yard-line kill? 100!? 500!? 1000!?
4:20 a.m.: They just ran the new Dodge Ram commercial: “I am Ram. My tank is full.” Not to confuse with the St. Louis Rams. ‘Cause they’re tank is definitely empty.
4:26 a.m.: Collinsworth can’t stop talking about Sebastian Vollmer and I can’t blame him. Love that the Pats drafted the guy. It seems like we finally nailed a draft again. They have 4 rookies who played in at least 5 games. And 7 players of the 2009 draft class contributed so far.
4:31 a.m.: Bethea just picked off Brady. So much for him becoming my favorite Colt.
4:33 a.m.: Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, baby!!! Interception by Leigh Bodden. (Doing the Ray Lewis dance in front of my computer right now.)
4:36 a.m.: Welker is like one of those downhill runningbacks. He always, I mean always, falls forward.
4:47 a.m.: Maroney just did his best Chris Brown imitation by fumbling at the 1-yard-line. Not good. Not good.
4:52 a.m.: Addai just dropped a crucial third down pass which leads to a tremendous Welker punt return and the second sightig of the Manning “What the f*** guys, catch some freakin’ balls, already!!!” look tonight.
4:55 a.m.: Guess what song they just played to start the fourth quarter! That’s right, Hells Bells! Didn’t see that one coming.
4:56 a.m.: Brady to Moss. Touchdown. Did I already mention that I put money on the Pats and Bengals and that I almost parlayed that with the Chiefs (I would’ve gotten 16-1 odds.). Why didn’t I do it you ask? Because I’m an idiot. That’s why.
5:03 a.m.: Manning to Garcon for a 29-yard touchdown on some pretty route running by the “frenchman”. Why did I mention that I put money on this game while it’s still going on? Once again, because I’m an idiot. You don’t anger the gambling gods unpunished.
5:05 a.m.:The third time they play Hells Bells tonight. And counting.
5:08 a.m.: The Pats convert a huge third down on a perfect Moss slant, but still have to punt three plays later. Indy is hanging around and I don’t like it. I don’t like it one bit.
5:14 a.m.: Wooohhho!!! An Interception by Wilhite on a terrible Manning throw causes me to successfully pull off a double handed fist pump. The only thing that’s whiter than a double handed fist pump is the missed high five.
5:19 a.m.: A Gostkowski (one of those guys where I always have to look up the spelling) field goal makes it a 34-21 game. I would feel comfortable if we played anybody but the Colts. You can never count out Manning in a nationally televised game. He loves the limelight. Why else would he do an estimated 2348 commercials a year.
5:25 a.m.: (Bang) That was the sound of my head hitting the desk after a 30 yard pass Interference penalty by Butler.
5:27 a.m.: (Kablamm. Blamm. Blamm) That was the sound of the desk lamp repeatedly colliding with my head after Addai punched it in for a touchdown. (KABLAMM) And that was the sound it made when I realized that the Colts didn’t have to use a single timeout on that last touchdown drive and I passed out for about 10 seconds with my head smashing to the ground.
5:32 a.m.: Here’s your ball game. Crucial 3 and 2 for New England.
5:33 a.m.: An almost pick by Powers nearly causes me to have a heart attack.
5:34 a.m.: The Pats go for it. Catch is made. Where are they going to spot the ball?
5:35 a.m.: …
5:35 a.m.: …
5:37 a.m.: The ball was bobbled. Pats didn’t get it. They can’t challenge.
5:39 a.m.: Addai to the 1. Pulse at 300.
5:40 a.m.: Under a half minute to go. Colts have one timeout left. Manning to Wayne. … Touchdown.
5:41 a.m.: Blankly starring at the computer in disbelief.
5:42 a.m.: 9 seconds left. Down one. Pass to Welker. Fumbles it. Pats recover it. Time runs out. Game over. We lost.
5:42 a.m.: … gasping for air … dry mouth … cold shiver …
5:43 a.m.: Can’t believe it. Disgusted. Discombobulated. Deranged.
5:48 a.m.: Wow. I don’t know how we lost this one. I really don’t. This loss was neck-breaking, heart-breaking and soul-crushing. The morale of the team and a whole fan base just got destroyed. In a matter of a few minutes.
5:51 a.m.: Since there is not much left to say and I’m not really in the right condition or mood now to write more I’ll sign off on this somber note. I hope you enjoyed this first ever live running diary. Let’s hope I can fall asleep, but if not I only have to stay up another hour anyway before I have to go to work so it’s not really a big loss. This game however was a big loss. A very big one.