Archive for September, 2009

Patriot Problem

Sunday, September 27th, 2009

By now it’s probably no secret anymore that I am a huge Patriots fan. As such I was really looking forward to the Pats-Jets game last weekend.

They (the Jets) had been running their mouths all week long about how they were going to embarrass the Pats, particularly on offense and even Jets head coach Rex Ryan joined in on all the smack talk by saying “he didn’t come here to kiss Belichick’s rings” this summer. I just wanted the Pats to shut them up. I wanted them to crush them. I wanted reassurance that the Monday Night game against Bufallo was nothing but a shaky start, a fluke if you will. I wanted to see our offense clicking on all cylinders like it did just two years ago.

But all that never happened.

Nobody knows their favorite team better than a fan (well, except maybe the coaches, because they get paid for paying attention) and that’s why I was secretly nervous about the Jets-game. Really nervous. You have to understand that I’m a realist (except when it comes to playing Madden: I think I can still win a game down 35 with 1:15 left on the clock, but that’s a different story) and as such I knew that the Pats hadn’t really shown me anything so far. So let’s just say I had my guard up.

I watched the Monday night game against Bufallo and I’ll be the first to admit that we (I love how people always go into WE-mode when talking about their favorite team like they are actually part of the team and no, I’m not any different) were lucky. If Bufallo’s kick returner just downs that kickoff in the endzone (like anybody with a tad of sense would have done) the game is over, but he didn’t and so Pats fans got out of there with a mighty scare. That particular game showed a lot of weak points concerning the Patriots and those weaknesses became glaringly clear again last Sunday so let’s break them down bulletin – board – style:

  • Just like in the first half of the season opener against Bufallo, Brady didn’t step into his throws against the Jets. He was over- and underthrowing wide open receivers. Ever so often you could see him favoring that left knee. He seemed skittish, hesitant and not at all calm and collected (Of course all those stunts and blitzes the Jets threw at him didn’t help the cause. They are a very good defense, dishing out punishment left and right and flying all over the place. Watch out Tennessee!). He just didn’t seem like the Brady Pats fans were used to seeing. It was painful to watch. Now maybe all that is just rust. After all Brady hasn’t played a real NFL game in over a year and for now I’ll keep talking myself into that theory.
  • The Pats defensive line can pressure the QB about as much as a herd of sheep. I’m gonna go out on a limb and say that that’s a problem. An enormous one. We used to have one of the premier D-lines in the NFL and to be honest I don’t really know what went wrong. Maybe Seymour was more valuable than perceived. Maybe the contract issues concerning Wilfork are bothering him more than he’d admit. Whatever it is, it is in return affecting our entire defensive unit. The key to defense in the NFL and quite frankly in all of football is as we all know the line play. If the defensive line can put pressure on the opposing QB, the secondary doesn’t have to cover as long and the Linebackers can make quicker and better reads. That is exactly what is hurting the Pats. An already patched-up secondary has to cover more space than Rosie O’Donnell takes up and a young and unexperienced Linebacker corps, that is already more descimated than the Isiah Thomas fan club, has to make faster decisions than an F-18 pilot.
  • The same thing can be said about or O-line. They are by far not as good as they used to be. There hasn’t been a bigger drop off quality- and performancewise since going from the original three Star Wars movies to the new ones. Seriously. They can’t run block- They can’t pass block. Heck, I don’t even know if they can tie their shoes. Maybe I’m being a little bit harsh, but we’re talking about a group of guys here that has been perceived to be one of the game’s best for almost a decade. Don’t get me wrong they were great, I mean REALLY great for at least four to five solid years, but their demise can’t be denied and also hasn’t happened over night. The first time I consciously noticed it was during the tragic events of 2/3/2008 (for all you newbies out there: it was the Pats – Giants Superbowl). Everybody came down on Brady, complaining about how terrible he looked and that he still was hurt and all this BS when in reality it was the O-line that simply couldn’t handle the Giants D-line (which by the way in my opinion was one of the most talented and all- around greatest D-lines in the history of the NFL and they had a terrific coordinator in Spagnuolo, I mean we’re talking about a line that featured studs like Strahan,Umenyora and Tuck … and boy, oh boy, now I just start to sound like John Madden… “If the, if the, if the Quarterback throws to the receiver and the receiver, the receiver catches it, then uhm then that’s a completion.” Remember!? That’s how that crazy bastard always talked. AnywayI better take a break before I start to praise Brett Faaaaaavre. Ahhh, what’s happening…). Alright, I’m back. I’m good. I just had some John Madden flashbacks there (it happens). Anyway where were we?! Oh, yeah, our O-line sucks! They are old and sluggish. They are killing our running game, our pass game and if they don’t make some changes Brady will be carried off the field on a stretcher sooner rather than later. (Let’s hope the Vollmer kid and the Ohrnberger dude we drafted pan out. Otherwise we are screwed.)
  • Speaking of changes. Apparently some changes have happened. Unfortunately the wrong kind of changes. Absolutely no disipline. None whatsoever. The team I watched against the Jets was not the Belichickian team I am used to seeing. Time for a quick pop quiz: How many penalties did the Pats commit last Sunday?
  1. A) 5
  2. B) 8
  3. C) 11
  4. D) 2

And the answer iiiiiiiiis: C) 11. Unbelievable right!? You want to know how many they averaged in ’08?  3.6 penalties per game. Right now, they are on pace for 5.5 per game. Doesn’t seem like much of a spike does it!? Well, think again. In 2008 they had the  LEAST penalties per game. So far they moved up 11 spots compared to last year. Pretty solid, huh!? Anyway just not what we’re used to from a team coached by Belichick.

  • Another key word that comes to mind when I think about that Jets game is out of sync (technically those are key words, but whatever, you get the idea). There was total confusion at times. At one point I stopped counting the times when Brady got off the snap a milisecond before the play clock would strike double zero. Receivers seemed to run wrong routes (as far as you could tell as an innocent bystander) and from what I remember there were drops galore. Very uncharacteristic. Very, very worrisome.

Those were the main concerns that struck me. Now I know this all sounds very disconcerting if you’re a Pats fan and some stuff might have even caught you by surprise, but let’s face it the Pats probably were overrated heading into this season. And so  far they haven’t really done anything to change that. Don’t get me wrong I will still hope for a turn- around, but if you’re a Pats fan it might be time to get ready for a rough season. It ain’t getting any easier. Of course all these concerns can be wiped away or at least diminished with a showcase win against an upstart Atlanta team this Sunday. So hang in there, fellow Pats fans and don’t forget the 2004 ALCS Red Sox slogan: BELIEVE.

**BONUS CONTENT**

Just some quick notes on what I personally consider one of the better and more entertaining games of this young NFL season, namely the Giants-Cowboys game from Week 2.

  • The first thing I noticed is how great the Cowboys three-headed running attack really is. I know they are leading the NFL in rushing yards right now, but I would’ve never thought that they are that good.
  • On the other side, maybe the Giants running game isn’t as good as we thought it would be. The Cowboys D isn’t exactly a killer defense (currently ranked 30th in total yards allowed) and Jacobs, the human 18-wheeler as I like to call him, didn’t really do any damage. To be fair though, their receivers really upped the ante. Especially that Manningham kid stepped it up, big time. They might have something there. He looks like he could be an impact guy for them down the road. Mark my words.
  • There were two camera shots that night that made me laugh. One was when they showed Madden sitting next to George W., which made me think how great it would’ve been if Charles Barkley would’ve been sitting next to them. That would have made Frank Caliendo’s head explode. And also, what were they talking about!? Seriously, what do they have in common other than the fact that they both speak funny and have grey hair? (I guess that’s sufficient reason right there) It must have been a great conversation, too bad they didn’t have them miked up. I’d love to hear that. The second one was the shot of Eli Manning’s girlfriend who seemed to be near fainting every time the camera zoomed in on here. Now I know being together with Eli must be a tough task to handle, but come on, at least keep those almost collapses private. Show some support for lil’ Manning!
  • Speaking of Eli. Look, my hate for Eli has been well-documented over time (starting with that miracle play in Superbowl 42), but still after watching him Sunday night, I have to say he looked pretty impressive. In fact I think he has made the Leap. Lemme explain: If you are a Giants fan and you have 2 minutes left, down 6 points with the ball in Eli’s hands, you can feel safe. You are in the trust-zone (let’s call it that until we can come up with something cooler). Which makes me think that maybe there is a certain gene you have to have to be a successful NFL QB. Sure there is a lot of training and studying involved, but it can’t be a coincidence that both Mannings are in that zone.
  • I know the video screen must look absolutely incredible, but talking about it at least 53426 times is overdoing it a bit, yes, I’m talking to you guys, Collinsworth and Michaels.
  • Speaking of that stadium, man, oh man, is it imposing or what?! Even on television it looks just staggering. This might be the new version of the Roman Colosseum.
  • But back to the actual game for a change. It was a fast- paced, fun game to watch. It simply had everything you’d want from your typical prime time game: circus catches, a lot of razzle-dazzle, a continous back and forth, Collinsworth saying “penetration” a couple of times (Love it when he does that. Always funny if you ask me. On a different note: He might be the best NFL analyst ever. He actually gives you informative insight and really knows what he is saying.) and a great finish (that once again proved that icing the kicker doesn’t really work). Let’s just say that if ever you wanted to convince somebody who is unfamiliar with the game of football or even hates it, that it actually is a phenomenal sport, then this was your textbook game right there. It really was worth staying up til 5:48 a.m. and as a result walking around like a zombie the next day.

Burning down the House – My part

Wednesday, September 23rd, 2009

True luck consists not in holding the best of the cards at the table; luckiest is he who knows just when to rise and go home.

- John Hay (1838-1905)

I’ve always wanted to try blackjack. Ever since reading about Bill Simmons’ Vegas stories, I have been fascinated by this game. It’s the only Casino game where you have a reasonable chance of winning. because the house advantage is rather low compared to other games, you have the phenomenon of counting cards, which by the way can we all agree should be its own superpower (I can’t believe something like “The incredible adventures of Blackjack Man and Vegas Showgirl” hasn’t been done yet! I would read that. Oh, well.), plus nothing takes off like a hot blackjack table. After all it’s just like Alan (for those of you who are bad with names: It’s the funny guy with the beard in “The Hangover”) says: “Gambling? Who said anything about gambling? It’s not gambling if you know you’re gonna win.”

Anyway, so first I increased my chips total a little by riding Martin’s roulette hot streaks to the point where I felt like Tom Cruise in “Rain Man”. Then I teamed up with Steve to take the House down, MIT Blackjack Team-style.

I started off slow. I mean really slow. But I dind’t let it get to me. I figured I’ll just use the first few rounds to get used to the pace of the game and get comfortable. It was like doing an auction fantasy draft. Everything happened super fast. I could hardly keep up with my own card value let alone the dealer’s card value. I was in free fall. My only goal was to stay alive long enough to go on a run.

Then it happened.

BAMM!!! 21!!!

BAMM!!! 21!!!

KAWBLAMM!!! Dealer busts!!!

The rout was on.

One BAMM followed another BAMM to the point that my head was spinning. But things really got going when they changed the dealer. They probably were thinking “Damn this guy is killing us, time to get our closer in.”

Not a good idea.

I was wreaking havoc like Babe Ruth on HGH as the new dealer self-combusted “Jake Delhomme” -style. I simply couldn’t lose. You know when athletes talk about being in the zone. That was me. I was in the zone.

(Quick note on blackjack dealers: Blackjack dealers might be among the most polarizing people in the world. Depending on your personal success you either love them or hate to the point that it becomes disturbing either way. When you are doing good you feel like they are your friend, even though you know nothing about them, and conversely when you are doing bad you may hate their guts as if they personally offended you. That particular night it almost felt like the dealers were giving me great hands on purpose.)

After a few more BAMMs and KAWBLAMMs I would soon be in the conundrum of figuring out when it was time to step off the plate. So I played a few more rounds to get a feel for where this table was going and the answer became clear rather quick.

Nowhere.

So I got up, one more rush of adrenalin passing through my venes, and left like a general leaves the sight of his victorious battle. I was so excited I even forgot to tip the dealer. (By the way if you’re wondering how much I actually made, let’s just say, I walked in with nothing and came out with 60 bucks. I’d say not bad considering that it was my first time.)

A few minutes later, when I looked over to the table I noticed that nobody was sitting there anymore. It seemed like I had departed just at the right time. That’s all there is to it really, you just have to know when to step off.

The rest of the night involved a stripclub and a situation more akward than a loud fart in a crowded room or a three man booth in football. But some stories are better untold.

Burning down the House – The Steve Part

Tuesday, September 22nd, 2009

You have to recognize when the right place and the right time fuse and take advantage of that opportunity. There are plenty of opportunities out there. You can’t sit back and wait.

- Ellen Metcalf

Steven proved to be wiser than Martin. He didn’t fall for the treacherous game of roulette. Instead he was eager to try his luck at blackjack. So he and I had to first wait for a suitable table with two spots to get open, because we didn’t know much , but we sure as hell weren’t going to jeopardize our money at a table with a 10 euro minimum (somewhere Michael Jordan is laughing hysterically right now). Finally after what felt like four hours (or as it is more commonly known: the duration of a Majore League Baseball game. Seriously, this is getting ridiculous, Bud Selig please introduce a pitch clock of some sort, enough is enough already!) two spots at a table with a 5 euro minimum opened. So Steve and I snagged them, because blackjack alone isn’t as much fun as doing it with a wingman. It’s kind of like a tag team in wrestling: If one guy taps out or in this case busts, his partner still has the chance to beat the heel or in this case the House (and really that is what everybody at the table is rooting for; just beat the House).

Anyway, the first few rounds didn’t go to well for Steve. He never really lost much, but he was constantly losing. It was like somebody was chipping away small chunks of Steve’s money every round with a little pickax. Of course there was the occasional “Whoohoo I won 5 back after I lost 15″ moment, but for whatever reason he could not get the ball rolling.

To be honest it was tough to look at the whole scene unfold. You never had the feeling: “Hey, maybe if so and so goes his way, he could still turn this ship around”. It was like watching your favorite team face an overwhelming opponent (in this case the dealer): You never really lose the faith and you even talk yourself into a miracle win, but deep down you know that your team can’t win.

So after watching Steven gradually bled to death like a fallen soldier, he finally was down to his last bullet (or in this case last chip). Of course he didn’t survive, but what was even more devastating than the defeat itself was its timing. Shortly after Steven’s corpse got carried of the battlefield, the regime was overthrown. In simpler terms for everybody who already lost the thread (I’m guessing quite a few people did): There was dealer change and guess what happened. Exactly! After being as cold as the Rockies (Coors Light the offical beer of The Fan’s Perspective) the table suddenly got as hot as Minka Kelly.

(On a different note: Yet another reason for Red Sox fans and frankly for all mankind to hate Derek Jeter. Go for somebdoy your age, Derek! Not that I would’ve had any chances with her in a million years, but still.)

Now THAT is some hardcore bad timing. Needless to say that Private Steven wasn’t in a particular good mood the remainder of the night. He fought for a good cause, but still bad timing killed him. More times than not success just comes down to being in the right place at the right time.

**TO BE CONTINUED** —- Coming up: The grand final of the “Burning down the House” mini-series. Stay tuned.